What to Bring to a Norwegian Dinner Party (Vertinnegave)

Bring a vertinnegave, a hostess gift, worth NOK 150 to 300: flowers, a bottle of wine, good chocolate or something edible. Hand it over at the door, do not expect the wine to be opened that night, take your shoes off, arrive on time and say "takk for maten" when the meal is over. That covers about 90 percent of what you need to know.

Being invited home in Norway

Norwegians do much of their socialising at home. Restaurants are expensive, alcohol in bars more so, and a dinner at someone's place is how friendships are built here. If you have lived in Norway for a while without being invited, that is normal. When the invitation does come, it means something.

A few things are almost universal:

• Arrive on time. Not early, not 20 minutes late. Norwegians take the time on the invitation literally. Five minutes either way is fine. Our piece on Norwegian time explains why.
• Shoes off at the door. Bring slippers or thick socks in winter if you know your hosts well enough. Some people bring indoor shoes to formal dinners.
• Wait for "skål". The host usually makes a short toast before anyone drinks. Look people in the eye when you toast.
• Offer to help, accept a no. Offering to clear the table is polite. Insisting is not.
• Takk for maten. When the meal is finished, thank the host for the food before leaving the table. Then say "takk for sist" the next time you see them.

For the bigger picture, see our guide to Norwegian etiquette and the surprisingly complicated question of who pays for dinner in Norway.

The vertinnegave itself

The vertinnegave is a thank-you for the invitation, not a contribution to the evening. That distinction matters. The hosts have planned the meal and the drinks. Your gift is for them, afterwards. This is why your carefully chosen bottle of wine probably disappears into a cupboard instead of onto the table. It is not a snub. It is the system working as intended.

The exception is when the invitation says "ta med egen drikke" (bring your own drinks), which is common for parties and informal dinners among younger people. Then you bring what you will drink, and a separate small gift is optional.

8 hostess gifts that work in Norway

1. Flowers

The safest choice there is. Tulips in winter and spring, a mixed bouquet the rest of the year. Grocery stores sell decent ones for NOK 100–200, a florist like Mester Grønn will wrap them better. If you want to save the host from hunting for a vase while the potatoes boil over, bring a potted plant or flowers already in a small arrangement.

2. A bottle of wine

The other default. Buy it at Vinmonopolet, the state-owned monopoly that sells all wine and spirits in Norway. The staff are knowledgeable and will happily point you to something at NOK 150–300. Remember the opening hours: Saturday dinners are where people get caught out. Do not bring beer as a vertinnegave unless it is something special from a local brewery.

3. Chocolate

A box of good chocolate works for any host, including the ones who do not drink. A large bar of Freia Melkesjokolade is the very Norwegian, very modest version. A box from a chocolatier or Nidar confectionery at Christmas is a step up.

4. Something for breakfast

A quietly thoughtful option: something the hosts can enjoy the morning after. A bag of coffee from Tim Wendelboe or Kaffebrenneriet, a jar of jam from Lerum, or a loaf from Godt Brød. NOK 100–250 and it says you thought about them, not just about the evening.

5. Good olive oil

Anyone who cooks dinner for guests uses olive oil, and a good bottle is a better gift than most people expect. Mathallen in Oslo and well-stocked grocery stores carry several. If the hosts have a sense of humour, the Extra Slutty Olive Oil from Byvoks (NOK 449, 500 ml extra virgin from Spain) gets a laugh at the door and is genuinely good oil. The name will not suit your partner's grandparents, and it is over the usual hostess-gift budget, so save it for friends who will enjoy it. Full disclosure: Working with Norwegians and Byvoks are run by the same person, Sean Percival.

6. Something from home

If you are not Norwegian, bring something from your own country: a local sweet, spice, tea or snack. Norwegians love this, and it starts conversation. Avoid anything that needs a long explanation or preparation. Check customs rules if you are carrying food from outside the EEA.

7. A candle

From October to March, Norwegians light candles at dinner almost every evening. A pack of good dinner candles from Kremmerhuset costs little and gets used. A scented candle works too, as long as it is subtle: a strong scent next to the food is a crime in any culture.

8. A gift card when you are staying over

If you are staying the weekend rather than coming for dinner, scale up a little: a Vinmonopolet gift card or a dinner out as a thank-you. Staying at someone's cabin has its own rules, covered in our guide to cabin gifts in Norway.

What not to bring

• Food for the meal you were not asked for. Showing up with a dessert when the host has made one is awkward. Ask first, or bring it as a gift for later.
• Something extravagant. A NOK 1,000 bottle at a casual dinner reads as showing off. Norwegians notice and do not say anything.
• Nothing at all. Arriving empty-handed is the one real mistake. Even a grocery-store bouquet is better than nothing.
• Flowers that need instant attention. Giant bouquets that need a vase, water and trimming in the middle of the cooking.

Hosts who don't drink, and hosts with children

Norway has a large and growing number of people who drink little or nothing, and plenty of hosts are pregnant, driving, training for a ski race or simply not interested. If you do not know, skip the wine and bring flowers, chocolate or something for breakfast. Nobody will think twice about it. Alcohol-free wine and beer are widely sold in grocery stores and are a perfectly normal gift too.

If the hosts have small children, a small thing for the kids, a book, a bag of sweets saved for Saturday (Norwegian children traditionally get lørdagsgodt, Saturday sweets), is a kind touch. Check with the parents before handing over sugar at 20:00. Bedtimes are taken seriously here.

Seasonal dinners

Christmas. If you are invited to a Christmas dinner, the gift can be a bit more festive: a bottle of aquavit, Christmas chocolate, a nice candle or julekaffe. The meal itself will likely be ribbe or pinnekjøtt, and there will probably be julebrus for the children. See our guide to Christmas in Norway for the full picture.

17. mai. National Day breakfasts and lunches are common. Bring flowers, something for the brunch table, or a bottle of bubbly. Wear something nice.

Summer. Grill parties at the cabin or in the garden are relaxed. Bring your own drinks and something for the grill or the dessert table if asked.

Dinner with a colleague or your boss

If you are invited home by a colleague or manager, the same rules apply. Keep the gift in the same NOK 150–300 range: going bigger for your boss reads as trying too hard in a country with a famously flat hierarchy. Our guide to thank-you gifts for a Norwegian boss goes into more detail.

More gift guides

For a new home rather than a dinner, read Norway's best housewarming gift ideas. For a host who appreciates a joke, see funny gifts that land with Norwegian humour. Norwegian readers can find a similar guide in vertinnegave tips.

For every other occasion, start with our overview ofgift-giving in Norway.