How Not to Appear Too American

As we're learning throughout this book many of my initial struggles working with Norwegians was simply due to being 'too American.' That's because there's a dramatic contrast between the way our cultures do business.

Both styles have their own clear advantages and weaknesses. I do however think if you could merge the two you would have the perfect recipe. The Nordic modesty and trust mixed together with the American bravado and cowboy style would be a powerful combination.

As I spend more time in Norway it becomes easier to spot my fellow Americans here. Sometimes I laugh to myself and remember when I was the same way. I remember how it took some adjusting and sometimes I feel like I should say something to them. I don't, of course, I'm already Norwegian enough to know one never talks to strangers here.

So since I can't do that I have composed a few rules for how to not appear too American here in Norway.

1. Do Not Be Loud

The number #1 tell-tale sign of an American is the sheer volume that comes out of their mouth. It doesn't matter if they are home alone, on a crowded subway or in a restaurant – they are loud.

Although to be fair, many other cultures are as loud. In Norway, however, it's more important to both respect and maintain the peace so use your inside voice. Or, better yet just keep your thoughts inside your head as many Norwegians do.

2. Accept and Enjoy the Silence

Americans are master conversationalists. We can paint a colorful canvas of words and stories about even the most mundane of topics. Americans are also prone to always try to fill any conversation gaps with more and more words.

In Norway you have to learn that sometimes silence in a conversation is OK! In fact, you'll know when you have a good friend in Norway when there is silence in a conversation (even long stretches of it) and no awkwardness.

There's a wonderful Norwegian saying: 'Og så ble ingenting mer sagt den vinteren' which translates to 'And then nothing was said that winter until spring.'

It comes from Norwegian farmlands where often something is agreed upon between two farmers before winter sets in and they only take up the conversion again once spring breaks. That's a long time for neighbors to not speak but that's also perfectly normal in Norway.

3. Do Not Attract Attention to Yourself

This is a tough one for Americans. We love to both shoot our mouths in addition to our beloved guns. Attracting attention to yourself is a national pastime which is why we have created so much bad reality television and just about every major social media application.

In Norway, one does not often brag about themselves. It's much better if others do it for you based on their own experiences. When others brag about you that's OK but you shouldn't be doing it yourself.

4. Do Not Name Drop

The standard American business greeting consists of 'Hello', following by a series of personal brags and name drops. This is especially true in my former home of Los Angeles. There, name-dropping is almost used like currency.

This isn't really the case in Norway. In a small country everyone pretty much already knows everyone, so name-dropping is less impressive here.

5. Do Not Show Wealth

Norway is not a flashy country despite the wealth found here. You would think you would see more sports cars and furs! However those are only found in a small part of the west side of Oslo, in Frogner where I call home.

Despite living in the only posh part of town, I sold my expensive German sports car before settling down in Norway and take public transportation like everyone else. Citizens show off their wealth in more subtle ways like wearing expensive ski outfits and luxury wool.

6. Do Not Pay for Others

My former very American, very New Yorker boss once told me "Sean, you always pick up the dinner bill, even if you can't afford it. People remember that and it's the secret to success in business". Since then, I've spent a small fortune on doing just that with few regrets.

However this is not something you do in Norway. Norwegians don't like to feel they owe someone anything or that you're trying to win favor with such an act. This includes even smaller gestures like picking up a cup of coffee for a colleague.

7. Do Not Be Too Enthusiastic

In American business industries, especially mine of internet startups, we see being too enthusiastic as a good thing. You're passionate about your work and likely to work very hard for your goals.

However in Norway being too enthusiastic will cause Norwegians to doubt your abilities or assume you're overcompensating. Worse, they might feel you're being fake.

8. Do Not Arrive in a Black Mercedes

As one of my meetings in Oslo was concluding I called up a black Mercedes from my Uber application. As I said goodbye to the business contact outside their office the car arrived, flying down the street at great speed and screeching the tires as it rolled up.

My business contact wore a shocked look on his face. It wasn't the loud tires screeching that worried him – it was my own extravagance that offended him.

That's because in Norway only royalty or the Prime Minister arrives and leaves in such a fashion. Everyone else takes public transportation.